Vision

 

Our children are the torrent of ever new life, creativity, passion and engagement.

We don’t need to motivate them, fix them.

Rather to let go our own skewed ideas about them, about ourselves.

Serve our offspring humbly, in awe.

Not from our various high horses, our ‘knowing better’.

This means a radical turnaround of thinking, presuming, habit.

But nothing less will do. No half measures.

And maybe part of this is knowing ourselves to be irrevocably a part of this torrent of life too.

Futile and sad to resist this glorious turbulence of liquid light so immeasurably more powerful than any limited  idea I have about normality, rightness or truth.

 

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This

The vastness of creation…all the potential of my experiencing,

the world ‘ out there’ which amazes, entrances, delights, terrifies and overwhelms me with its complexities…..

maybe that’s all just my world….the creation of the creator that I am.

Yes well of course it is.

Occurring not to me but by me.

Seemingly I am victim, but that’s just another of my little tricks.

What next?

Cut off from past, from the known, from desire to please others, fit in, be normal….

who knows what I may do,  where I may go?

or you too for that matter?

Inner wisdom, reinstated to its rightful throne,  owes no one explanation or apology.

It dances – like the bright elusive butterfly of love – to its own tune.

 

Four sixteen a.m.

Skibbity jibbet and buckaroo hoo.

Awake at this minute and what else to do?

Imagine a feast and a swim in warm oceans

fly like a bird and move forward, away.

Magical powers to create and to play

Ballerina, flowerina,  pray.

Waiting for the promise of the new day.

Fairy Tale

 

I’ve run out of things to do, and Facebook is like looking for a needle in a haystack…not that I’m even planning on sewing anything.

The vibe is ….depletion.

The sky is grey.

Ah…sometimes you just have to go through these spaces!

Either willingly or kicking and screaming.

Or more likely just sullenly!

Well maybe the faster I get friendly with this space, the sooner it will give way to whatever’s next.

It’s not so much that the space needs me to allow it as that I need me to open up.

As if this space is like a messenger showing me where I’m still living inside my own limited ideas.

Part of this space, this vibe, is feeling sick and tired of myself.

Oh yes, and the thought (the pretty pointless thought) –

“What’s the point of anything?”

It’s a bit like being under a spell of sorts!

Some mischievous fairy cast it over me while my guard was down… my own fairy…me!

Fairy Spoil-It-All!

Born in the crucible of unfulfilled expectation, nurtured time and time again by repetition, by the self-fulfilling story of ‘inevitable disappointment’   .

So well done little spoiler sprite – you’ve certainly had a field day with me!

Now tell me, what else have you got?

What about your evolution?

What’s the point of you?

Ah…the necessary contrast in this dualistic place!

The Monday morning feeling highlighting the first day of the holidays…

Perhaps if I want to feel energised, optimistic, inspired and alive then maybe I have to know the feeling of the opposite – in order to be clear on the pole I prefer.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

My Sun Day

 

I watched the sun came up this morning.

A huge glowing golden disk illuminating the clouds briefly before slipping under a bank of dusky grey-blue cloud.

From my perspective, absolutely true.

But is that really what happened?

Didn’t the piece of the earth on which I sat rotate towards a flaming  globe as countless trillions of suspended moisture droplets passed between it and me?

Wasn’t the sun itself also rotating on its own axis and around the centre of the galaxy – with the earth in tow?

And didn’t I not so much ‘sit down’ as allow gravity to pull me closer to the earth’s centre, skilfully adapting my posture next to the chair?

It all depends on my perspective and on my sensory apparatus.

On my attitude, my conditioning and my consciousness.

What I rexperience is true for me, whether I am awake or dreaming.

Or for a bat, a bee or an extra-terrestrial being.

Maybe a blade of grass has an experience?

Truth, illusion, the play of light…

Can I ever know anything other than my own totally unique perspective?

Perhaps beyond the illusory nature of this belittled self, I could see many perspectives – or even all of them?

It’s raining now.

That is to say – conditions have allowed the combined molecules of oxygen and hydrogen suspended in the planet’s lower atmosphere to coalesce and become sufficiently dense that gravity pulls them back into contact with the planets surface.

Science or a miracle? Both?

Our descriptions are all relative, all true enough to themselves.

From my point of view it’s still all about having a nice day though!

Maintaining a perspective which allows the greatest appreciation for whatever shows up.

As it’s Sunday, I’m taking the liberty of noting that this is what certain religious folk would  describe as “singing thanks and praises”.

Amen to that!

 

Unwanted Gifts

I just had a realisation.

But before that, I had the breakdown.

A breakdown of my feeling positive, optimistic, light, free.

I was feeling negative, critical, miserable, cynical, burdened, closed.

The tendency when feeling like this is naturally to inwardly (or outwardly) complain about it!

Try and break free from it.

Here’s this unwanted feeling visiting me again…

and on my frikkin’ birthday as well…tschaa.

So after an hour or two of going through the motions of daily life somewhat stony-faced, listening to my own grumbles,

drawing my emotional state (art therapy)

and then reading some inspiring words-

I had the sudden realisation/remembering that it’s all my own energy!

There is no outer force impressing itself on me!

It’s not being done to me – this is all me!

Not only that, but it’s all good!

So called ‘negative emotions’ aren’t damaging, wrong or bad.

They’re energetic signatures, patterns coming up in my energy field.

From me and also for me!

I began my day thinking about birthday gifts, noticing how some resonate – they are things that I really appreciate – and there are some where I just appreciate the generosity of the giver.

But I didn’t know what to do with my genuinely non- appreciative thoughts!

I like what I like, regardless of other the giver’s intentions.. but I was left feeling mean and ungrateful. Bad me!!

I thought hard about this and asked for an answer as to what was the benefit to me of this challenge.

I asked for the greater gift if you will!

Here’s what I was given.

It’s easy to integrate the wanted into my energy, to accept all the nice things.

But in order to be wholly myself…(holy myself?) I must allow everything. Nice and not so nice.

Accept it, know it as equally valid, know it as my own!

Refusing to accept and integrate anything is to refuse the energy inherent in it. My energy.

Nothing is innately bad or good – because the bottom line of everything is – it’s all energy,  which is essentially neutral.

The energy I spend on trying to keep aspects of myself (or the world) out of my experience is energy no longer available to me for the creative pursuit of my inspirations.

And the energy of that which I’m trying to keep out is also not available to me either!

Allowing the unwanted is a double boost bonus for me!

The best birthday gift today is this one – that I give to myself.

As for my my personal preferences – they don’t mean I’m bad, obviously – without them I wouldn’t be distinguishable as me!

So Happy Birthday, me!